Basic Parenting 101

As teachers we are required to take continuing education classes in order to renew our licenses. This is so that we don't reach the ripe old age of retirement without ever updating our curriculum and learning new methods of teaching. I have tons of PDUs (credits) because I participated in a technology grant and now I have a laptop, an LCD projector, a classroom set of handheld computers and these little remote control thingys that I never use. So for working in my dinky little district, I'm pretty cutting edge in terms of technology.

But even though I got my credits for participating, being in the tech grant did not "continue" my education. If anything, it made me dumber (more dumb?). There were ladies in the grant who did not use email. Why you would participate in a tech grant if email is too technologically advanced for you is beyond me.

So it's a darn good thing that I'm learning so much about parenting from some of my students' parents. My education has definitely been continued in the past few days. I'm really learning what NOT to do with a middle schooler. Allow me to demonstrate my new found knowledge:

• Don't assume that your child's progress report did not make it to you because the school forgot to mail it. Especially if we've sent you progress reports faithfully for the last three years. Especially if your child has 2 Fs. Especially if your child is a liar.
• Sending a note with your child requesting his missing assignments when there are two days left in the quarter is a bad, bad idea. If this note even makes it to me, I don't have time to dig up extra copies of all the assignments that I already gave to your child once. Period.
• Scheduling a three week long vacation to Hawaii in the middle of the school year sends a message to your kids that school is not important. It's going to be hard for your kid to afford his own Hawaiian vacations when he's flipping burgers at Mickey D's.
• If your child has been failing for the past three years, suddenly taking an interest in his academics during the last quarter of the 8th grade year is too little, too late.

Now it is true that I haven't lived the other side of this yet, and maybe Jack will grow up to be a little lying juvenile delinquent (or worse yet, a tie-wearing Republican ala Alex P. Keaton)... but sheesh. Some of these parents are worse than the kids. Almost. It's a good thing that they pay me the big bucks to deal with all of this.